One last radiotherapy session

Update on Cezar's Condition

Monday will be the last day of radiotherapy. Treatment summary and next steps will be discussed on Wednesday. Appointment with oral surgeon later to replace Cezar's plastic crowns (without them the teeth underneath will hurt a lot, we cannot afford titanium crowns and infused to metal crowns will be an issue when he comes in for an MRI and they're pricey too). We're trying our best to keep him hydrated and surprisingly chemo side effects weren't as bad as they were the last 2 cycles.

We're asking for prayers that his surgery be scheduled soon. I know God will take care of my husband and I know God will heal him. Please join us in prayer as we ask God for guidance, strength, and the will to fight this disease. Thank you and may God bless us all!

Prayer From A Stranger

Tuwing makoconfine si Cezar sa UERM nilalagay kami sa isolation room ng ward dahil immunocompromised sya. Nung unang cycle pa lang namin nakita ko na to sa gilid ng dingding pero ngayon ko lang naisip ipost. Pareho kami ng prayer ng tao na to. Pero yung prayer ko para sa asawa ko. Hopefully maririnig ni God ang mga hiling namin. Nakaencircle yung '47' dahil 47 days sya sa ospital.

Kung sino ka mang nagsulat nito, nakakabilib ka kase first day pa lang ng confinement mo si God na agad ang kinapitan mo. Ako dumaan pa muna sa depression, doubt, anger, etc. Pero alam ko forgiving naman si God at mapapatawad nya yung saglit kong pagkawala ng tiwala sa kanya.

Share ko lang sa inyo guys, napakasarap basahin na letter.

"Heavenly Father

I call on you right now in a special way. It is through your power that I was created, every breath I take, every morning I wake and every moment of every hour, I live under your power.

Father God, I ask you now to touch me with the same power. For if you created me from nothing, you can certainly recreate me. Fill me with the healing power of your spirit. Mend what is broken, root out any unproductive cells; open any blocked arteries or veins and rebuild any damaged areas. Remove all inflammation and cleanse any infection.

Let the warmth of your healing LOVE pass through my body to make now any unhealthy areas so that my body will function the way you created it to function.

Father God, restore me to full health in mind and body so that I may serve You the rest of my life.

These are my prayers, through the mighty name of JESUS CHRIST, my LORD and SAVIOR.

To God be the glory, Amen.

God is good all the time, in every situation no matter what, God is Good!"

Done with chemotherapy!

Update on Cezar's Condition

Done with chemotherapy! 4 more radiotherapy sessions then we talk to Cezar's doctors for the next step. He told me he has been feeling less pressure on his right eye and although the same eye still has double vision, he is able to open it without getting dizzy.

WBC is now close to normal, same with his platelets. Chemo can be harsh but he's holding up and we've been praying a lot. We're just doing our best to keep him hydrated and hopefully the side effects will wear off soon.

His salivary glands seem to be drying up from all the radiation. Now he's dealing with dry mouth that's worse than ever, but at least his neck burns have gotten better and we have been able to keep his weight at 62kgs. Unlike his last 2 chemo cycles, he has more energy now and he's more talkative.

Thank you guys for all the prayers. We are also praying for all of you. May God bless us all!

April 18th

Update on Cezar's Condition

8 more days until our last radiotherapy session. Last chemo cycle this coming Saturday. So far we have kept Cezar's weight at 62kg for the last 2 weeks. His BMI is 22.1 which is still within the normal range but we're aiming for him to gain weight in prep for his surgery.

His neck is full of blisters. Radiation burns are so difficult to treat and deal with. His mouth is full of sores. Speaking, eating, and even breathing (he is now a mouth breather because both nostrils are clogged) is painful. We're trying to manage his symptoms as much as we can but there are things that he just has to bear.

My heart breaks everytime he cries out in pain. But our God is bigger and stronger than this disease. Thank you for all the prayers and support, please pray for us some more. The future looks blurry but we have faith in God's plans for us. God bless us all!

My Prince Charming

Bata pa lang tayo, mula nung una nating napagusapan ang kasal, sinabi mo sa akin na gusto mo maging prince charming sa wedding day natin. Sabi mo hindi mo alam pano pero ang sigurado mo lang gusto mo mahaba ang buhok mo sa araw na yun. Nangyari naman yun kahit na simpleng civil wedding lang ang pinili natin. Sobrang gwapo mo nun (palagi naman)!

Ngayon 2 years after, naglalagas yung buhok mo dahil sa chemo at radiotherapy. Buti kung even yung pagkalagas pero hindi e, kung saan saan lang sya nakakalbo. Pero ok lang sayo sabi mo nga anything para lang magkaron ng fighting chance sa buhay.

At dahil dyan gusto ko ipakita sa lahat ng mga friends natin kung gano ka katapang at desidido na talunin tong sakit na to. Proud na proud ako sayo, beb. Kahit na mahirap lumalaban ka para sa atin. Gusto ko lang malaman mo, mahal na mahal kita kahit makalbo ka pa. Dibale paggaling mo babalik rin yan tapos pahabain natin uli. I love you di!

April 10th

Update on Cezar's Condition

April 5 - Discharge from UERM

April 6,7,8 - Resume radiotherapy

He now has visible radiation burns on his face and neck. He has also started losing hair at the back of his head. He has several bald patches mostly near the nape area. As a result of his severe vomiting episodes last week, his throat is swollen and badly infected which makes it difficult for him to speak, eat, and take sips of water. He is now 100% PEG tube fed with formula (all his meds go in through the tube too). His weight is fluctuating but he is walking a lot which is still something to celebrate. His biopsy slides have been sent to another hospital for rereading (doctors want to make sure the cancer is indeed squamous cell). Next CBC is scheduled on wednesday April 12. God willing, we get good results there. It's a very tiring battle, but it's one we intend to win. I gave him a haircut earlier, and I'm just so happy to have spent another day with him. Please pray for his healing. Stay safe and God bless us all.

April 5th

Update on Cezar's Condition

April 2 - Nosebleed still hasn't stopped since night of April 1st. Still vomiting. Doctors instructed no food no water until further notice.

April 3 - Cezar received 5 units of blood platelet concentrate because his platelet was going down fast, same goes for his bp. Still vomiting and nose still bleeding. Surg onco visited and checked his MRI plates. He said the mass is now close to the bone protecting the brain and he may need to operate soon (and that we may need a neurosurgeon). He told us he'll get back to us after he has reviewed the plates.

April 4 - Vomiting has stopped, bleeding has gone down. Surg onco dropped by and said he made a mistake. It wasn't actually the tumor that he saw close to the brain - it was sinusitis (praise God!). We just have to complete chemo and radiation and then discuss the surgery after. We now have go signal to feed through his PEG tube. His color has returned and he was able to finally sleep straight. ENTs checked to see what was causing the bleeding. They had to pack Cezar's nose with dissolvable gauze and put in some meds to help stop the bleeding. Left nostril although congested by the mass, is perfectly healthy. The bleeding will be reassessed tomorrow. If it has stopped completely we will be sent home. Praying for this to happen so we can catch up on missed radiotherapy sessions. There was an earthquake tonight, but we are safe (thank you again God!) and ready to fight another day.

Stay safe everyone, please include us in your prayers. We are praying for everyone's health, happiness, and peace.

April 2nd

Update on Cezar's Condition

Had to rush him to the ER this afternoon due to excessive nosebleed and vomiting. Doctors mentioned tumor bleed before but this is the first time we actually experienced it. He has always had blood dripping from his nose since his biopsy Jan 23 this year but today the bleeding got a lot worse. We're talking about spoonfuls of blood gushing from his nose and lots of blood clots with it. He also hasn't been able to keep any food down since Friday night.

We waited 9 hours in the ER before being transferred to an isolation room in the charity ward. Doctors didn't want to expose him because of his condition. Platelet is pretty low at 100000 (normal range 150000-450000) making it more difficult for him to build a solid blood clot. He is currently being given Tranexamic acid to control the bleeding. For the vomiting he has been given 2 doses of Plasil but we have yet to see it work.

Cezar is exhausted and in pain. They are making him fast right now which makes things more difficult (imagine vomiting 5 times straight and not be able to even take a sip of water). He is finally sleeping and hopefully the meds will be able to take effect while he's asleep.

Please pray for Cezar's healing. It breaks my heart to see him like this. I didn't want to pick up my phone to post an update but we need as many prayer warriors as we can. Please, please include Cezar in your prayers. We pray for strength and the will to overcome this ordeal. Thank you.

April 1st

Update on Cezar's Condition

Some good news and some bad news.

Bad news - tumor isn't responding to treatment as well as we hoped it would. From 6.7x6.3x6.1 it is currently at 5x7x7. Rad and surg onco both said there is inflammation to be considered but I'd like to take these numbers as they are. I don't want to assume that it's smaller than what the tests say. Cezar is also back to using a wheelchair. Doctor said the fluid responsible for his balance (inside the ear) is drying up because of radiation. It's an inevitable side effect we have to deal with. He can walk but gets nauseous at the slightest movements. MRI confirmed he has sinusitis in his left sinuses which prevents him from breathing through the left nostril. He now breathes exclusively through the mouth. Blood count has gone crazy because of chemo and radiation. We'll have to repeat the tests next week to make sure that he is recovering from the chemo meds. He has lost a lot of weight so we've scheduled an appointment with his gastro on Monday. It's difficult for him to eat since he can only breathe through the mouth and the PEG tube can only take so much.

Good news - MRI results seem to show no damage to his brain. The tumor protruding from his gums and right nostril has shrunk noticeably allowing more drainage of dead blood from both nostrils (more from the right). Withdrawal symptoms have gotten better despite the sudden reduction of pain meds (Pregabalin now taken one tab/day from 3tabs/day, Carbamazepine now taken one tab/day from 3tabs/day, Morphine slow release now taken 3tabs/day from 12tabs/day). He has also stopped taking plain rescue morphine tabs. Somehow, his mouth sores have stopped bothering him and it's been days since he last used his lidocaine mouthwash. He has always been bothered by the fact that scans showed a cyst on the left side of his nose inside his sinus but MRI confirmed today that the cyst is benign. We have an appointment with our IM onco on Tuesday and hopefully we'll get a referral to an ENT to have his left sinusitis sorted out.

With only 13 more days left of his radiotherapy treatment we can't help but feel disappointed that the tumor has not shrunk enough. But we are not losing hope. We pray day and night for healing and for strength to continue this fight with our spirits intact. I believe God has His reasons for giving us this test and I know that Cezar and I will triumph over this challenge together, hand in hand. Please pray for Cezar to survive this and have the chance to live his life to the fullest. I am not giving up on him and I believe him when he says that he will live for me.

Sorry for the long post. Please have a great weekend full of love and happiness. May God bless us all.